Meeting People – But How?
For those who are new to Germany and don't yet know anyone, making friends quickly is a top priority. Ideally, German friends, as this can expedite language learning. But how does one go about this most effectively?
Among language teachers, there's an old adage that many of them gladly pass on to their students: There's no better or faster way to learn a new language than to find a partner who speaks it as their native tongue. However, following this advice is rarely possible. After all, who chooses their partner solely based on the language they speak? Fortunately, there's a simpler method that also works very well: making friends in the new country.
Hugh Pryce arrived in Germany almost two years ago. His plan was to quickly make German friends to improve his language skills. "But at the beginning, it was easier with other foreigners. Even with colleagues, I initially spoke English, even if they were Germans," the Brit explains. It took him about a year until Pryce had really good German friends with whom he could speak German.
Join a Club
He found his friends through various avenues: he met a few at work. "When you're in a new environment, it's also a good idea to talk to your neighbors," he recommends. Because Pryce is a sports fan, he also became a member of several sports clubs. "I joined a tennis and a skiing club. There were many other foreigners in the skiing club, but the tennis club was very German." Pryce also trained with a rowing club a few times – all of his teammates there were Germans too. "If you're a sports fan, you should definitely join a proper German club," he recommends. In a club, it's usually only important that you excel at the sport. Even if you don't speak German so well yet, you'll quickly be accepted by your teammates.
Even if you're not so keen on sports: Germany is the land of clubs, and there's a specific club for almost every activity. Do you enjoy cooking, reading, history, or board games? Look for a club related to your interests in your city. You will find one.
For Pryce, sports clubs were helpful in finding new friends. Today, he has "two or three" good German friends whom he regularly meets. But it wasn't easy to form these friendships. Pryce finds this normal, not just because of the language: "I used to live in London, and it would have been very difficult for a German to join our circle of friends. This isn't something specific to Germans. It's just always complicated when you move to a new country," Pryce explains.
Overall, the Brit has had many positive experiences with Germans. He believes that many are happy to help foreigners with their German: "When I said I wanted to speak German, so many people reacted positively and told me they would be happy to help me and speak German with me. That really impressed me."
Invite People Over
Don't be afraid to talk to Germans – that's exactly what Desiree Fabunan recommends too. The American moved to Germany a year and a half ago and now has about ten German friends. "My advice is to simply go to bars or other public places and talk to people. Most people in Germany are very open and enjoy talking," she says. "Just last week, I met someone at a barbecue, and tonight I'm going out with them."
Fabunan has also made friendships through her work or through friends of friends. "You should also try to invite yourself to other people's homes or invite them to yours," she recommends. She noticed that you get to know people better this way. At home, most people are more open and less reserved. "Then they are more interested in you. And it's more likely that they will invite you again later."
Although Fabunan still often speaks English with her German friends because she doesn't think her German is good enough yet, as long as they discuss uncomplicated topics, the American tries to speak as much German as possible. In the long run, she wants to speak only German if possible. Because the language you speak with friends in everyday life is naturally quite different from the one you learn in German class. And there's no better way to learn German colloquial language than to hear it from German friends every day – and then use it yourself.
Find People with the Same Interests
In addition to clubs, work, and bars, there are, of course, many other places where you can meet people. Do you enjoy the theater? Go to plays and talk to other visitors about the performance. Are you interested in a scientific topic? Attend a university course on it and try to strike up a conversation with others there. There are courses on many different topics at adult education centers. That's also a good place to meet new people. If you have children, you should go to activities organized by the school or kindergarten. It's often not so difficult to make contact with other parents. If you're religious, you can get involved in the church community, and if you enjoy making music, an orchestra, choir, or band is a great opportunity.
So definitely use your interests to find new friends. Because one thing is for sure: in Germany, you can almost always find someone who's interested in the same thing. Still, don't expect to make new good friends overnight. "It takes a bit of time to really make good friends. You have to be patient," warns Pryce.
Use the Internet
The internet can be a big help when you move to a new country. Facebook groups, public events, or apps like Spontacts or Meetup are very practical tools for meeting people. But other contexts can also be a good start. Alessandro Ferrari, for example, has made friends through the carpooling app BlaBlaCar. The Italian, who has been living in Munich for more than two years, has either taken people with his car to a destination or has ridden in someone else's car. "If I get along particularly well with one of my carpoolers, I stay in touch with them afterward," he says.
Ferrari has also made contacts through Couchsurfing events or Facebook groups. There are online groups in every major city. However, you will find few German friends there. Ferrari's girlfriend, who is also Italian, found a German language exchange partner online. The partner wants to learn Italian. Although there's a big age difference between them, they've become good friends: "They often meet to have coffee together," Ferrari says.
Pryce did listen to the wisdom of language teachers and found a partner who speaks the language of the new country as their mother tongue: His girlfriend is from Austria.
However, she only helped him a little with learning the German language: "She also spent a few years growing up in the USA and speaks excellent English. That's why it's hard to avoid speaking English. But we try to speak a lot of German," says Pryce, laughing. So he learned the German language in a more classic way: with German courses and German friends. And that worked very well for him.
